- 27th October 1999
It aims to be: "A light hearted and satirical, though frequently factual look at Australia and the world."
It aims to
be: "A light hearted and satirical, though frequently factual look at Australia
and the world."
27th October 1999
Chapel of cash
Scott Balson may not give a continental about the wedding of the year, but millions may disagree with him. Weddings have always provided a volatile gossip ground.
The boys from the Australian group 'Human Nature' must be feeling cheated right now. Daddy Packer was prepared to pay over one million dollars to Elton John, while the boys from Oz had to settle for $80,000. At $20,000 each, it was hardly worth there while getting out of bed. Too bad that the Packer's don't believe in encouraging Australian talent.
As it is customary for the bride's parents to throw in a dollar or two for the wedding of their daughter, I wonder if Jodie's parents felt obliged to make a splash in the Packer ocean. One would hope they didn't offer to buy the flowers.
Bad girl Jodie
My roving reporter just happened to stumble across a relative of a gentleman who dated Jodie Meares when she was a mere Gladesville girl. According to this particular source, "Jodie was just a nice, ordinary girl." Well, perhaps not too nice. Jodie was given her marching orders when she allegedly put a cigarette burn in the roof of the young man's prized car. Go figure.
Drink… Drunk - blame it on who?
"Dinner party hosts warned guests could sue," read the news headline last Friday. "Lawyers say the 'social host' has the same responsibility as hotels to provide a duty of care." If you have a party and your guests are intoxicated, call a cab or ask them to stay the night. A myriad of problems could emerge from that… Increase in population comes to mind.
The absurdity of this potential ruling is that consumers are receiving mixed messages. Licensing laws will be relaxed for New Year's Eve and the Olympic Games, meaning drinking round the clock will be possible. The streets of Sydney especially, will be littered with bottles and drunken bodies.
Dymocks store rebels
Which Dymocks store keeps on buying "Murder by Media" despite strict instructions from head office not to? Apparently it is the last place that the Sydney head office would think of looking.
Media attention for Wingate
Scott Balson received an email from The Queensland Times the very morning that "The Grapevine" came online:
Scott,
>I was interested to read SS Wingate's column today. Are you able to tell us who she is?
I have guaranteed her anonymity. She is someone close to what is going on in the party.
For the record, I welcome email from the media - mainstream or otherwise. My identity, however, will remain a mystery.
We all do it.
We all enjoy it.
We all live for it.
We all just can't stop the urge.
We all gossip.
This week I feel the need to respond to the mail I have received and the comments which have appeared on @notd in regards to this column.
The only criticisms I have received thus far, are from Brian Zarth. After carrying out a small investigation, I have found that Mr Zarth is a credit to One Nation and should be applauded for his work. Brian has even set up a web site called 'David Oldfield in the Upper House' (http://www.angelfire.com/on/nepean/qtime.html)
As Scott Balson has quite correctly pointed out, "The Grapevine" is "A light hearted and satirical though frequently factual look at Australia and the world." My comments about David Oldfield and Pauline Hanson were satirical while also being factually based.
Brian asked in a letter to @notd, "Since when does David Oldfield need help to draw attention?" David is quite proficient at drawing attention, usually to himself. Whether this attention is positive for the Party is another story. However, if you read last week's article, you will see that I wrote, "The lady from Ipswich is touring Sydney in an effort to boost the profile of MLC David Oldfield. By visiting One Nation branches, Pauline is effectively boosting the profile of David Oldfield…" Well, one can only hope. Anyone who believes that it is a pure coincidence that Pauline will be in Sydney on the night of David's speech is quite delusional. "…Pauline will have to work a loaves and fishes miracle to draw a crowd to David's maiden speech on 26th October." Satire… I was making use of Pauline's humble beginnings as a fish and chip shop owner, combined with the fact that she is viewed by some, quite unfairly and incorrectly, as some type of miracle worker who will save us all from a gruesome end.
In the mainstream print media, it was reported that Oldfield's audience would be "handpicked." That's casting the net a bit far in my opinion, however, I received information stating that by the time most of the Sydney One Nation branches had received invitations to David's cocktail party, the large percentage of tickets had been sold. This to me seems strange.
Brian Zarth had some harsh words to say about Scott Balson. If being able to think for yourself and articulate these thoughts places a "blight on your credibility" then Scott is guilty of the aforementioned crime. The crux of the matter is that @notd is an independent newspaper and I am relieved that Scott is adamant about it remaining that way.
I stand by the satirical and factual nature of what I wrote and I offer no retraction.
On a more pleasant note, some encouraging mail:
"Congrats on the new column. We wish you well and plenty of eyes and ears to keep you on the ball."
See you next week on "The Grapevine"
S.S. Wingate
Send me your goss at: thegrapevine@chickmail.com
Contributions of snippets, cartoons, jokes or just general comments are welcome. Nothing too scurrilous or slanderous please! Your name will not be included with your contribution unless you indicate that you would like your identity exposed.
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