-
It aims to
be: "A light hearted and satirical, though frequently factual look at Australia
and the world."
It aims to
be: "A light hearted and satirical, though frequently factual look at Australia
and the world."
Flying high
My roving reporter, on an aeroplane from Canberra, found himself seated right near the blonde bombshell from the Democrats. There was little distance between Tash and who looked to be, a besotted Hugh Rimington. Sure enough, newspaper reports exposed my source as being reliable. Young Natasha was sporting what looked to be an engagement ring at the ARIA's. These claims were later squashed when her office said the ring had "no significance." However, no one seems to be willing to deny that Hugh is man of the moment.
Loaves and fishes
The controversial leader of Pauline Hanson's One Nation was recently spotted purchasing fish at Sydney's fish markets (no confirmation on the variety). The lady from Ipswich is touring Sydney in an effort to boost the profile of MLC David Oldfield. An attempt to test public perception was made, however, the crowd was more interested in Ms Hanson. She was able to reminisce over her days as a fish and chip shop owner as she walked the aisles. Word on the street is that Mr Oldfield's popularity could be slumping, and Pauline will have to work a loaves and fishes miracle to draw a crowd to David's maiden speech on 26th October. In the end, shop owners and shoppers only had one thing in mind.. Fish.
Tell me it's not true!
Women everywhere are collapsing in devastation. Ricky Martin, latin lover singer extraordinaire was recently labelled as being a homosexual. Nothing wrong with that of course, but when your main talent is sex god to millions of salivating women, it does terrible damage to the minds of many. While they seek compensation, George Michael added fuel to the fire when he inadvertently commented that he likes the way Ricky shakes his hips. Enough said.
Australian PM strips
Well, not quite. A women's magazine approached John Howard to bear all. His media adviser contemplated it for a brief while, but "Mr Howard hasn't even sat for a portrait, let alone be part of a nude pictorial." John Laws, Kim Beazley, Fred Nile and Jeff Kennett all declined the offer as well. Something to be thankful for.
Kennett to reveal plans for future
"Victorian Premier Jeff Kennett will announce today whether he will resign, or demand a parliamentary vote, following the ALP's deal with the three Independent MPs, that has delivered Labor government.
In what could be his last act as Premier, Mr Kennett will today make an appointment to visit Governor Sir James Gobbo to advise him of his political intentions.
The man who has ruled Victoria for seven years has two options: tender his resignation, effective immediately, or insist he be formally voted out of office on the floor of Parliament on November 3." (ABC News, 19/10/99)
Kennett has resorted to entering Parliament through the back door and driving himself to work in his four-wheel drive. Could he be preparing himself for the real world?
As I write this, Mr Kennett's resignation is being announced. Now to his career in the 'private sector.'
We all do it.
We all enjoy it.
We all live for it.
We all just can't stop the urge.
We all gossip.
Human nature places certain demands on us all. Firstly, we must talk about ourselves (admittedly, some are guilty of over indulgence.) Secondly, we must talk about others. It is ingrained in us. It most probably has something to do with the extended period of solitary confinement in the womb, which creates lifelong frustration.
Men will claim that they don't partake in eavesdropping to acquire their bundle of gossip, which is clearly a fallacy, as my tale will tell…
I was dining at a restaurant a few months ago; little was I to know that a well-known sports newsreader/commentator was a regular there. He had an unmistakable air about him. Very suave.. and surprisingly short. It was quite sickening to watch.. Waiters falling at his feet, patrons searching for scraps of paper for him to autograph (if none could be found, body parts were permissible), the old "we'll have what he's having" line was overflowing from one table to the next… Men behaving badly.
See you next week on "The Grapevine"
S.S. Wingate
Send me your goss at: thegrapevine@chickmail.com
Contributions of snippets, cartoons, jokes or just general comments are welcome. Nothing too scurrilous or slanderous please! Your name will not be included with your contribution unless you indicate that you would like your identity exposed.
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